Tag Archives: love

The best part of breaking up

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The best part of breaking up

Might be Folger’s in your cup. Rediscovering yourself is always the best part. Reclaiming music you couldn’t listen to while grieving is a close second… it made you happy before damnit! This does not happen overnight so until then here are some steps I know I take to get to that point.

Being a chick it is more acceptable to be emotional so if you have anything you need to say to your former beau feel free to knock a couple back, let loose, and blame it on the a-al-cu- alcohol it’s already done and over with so what do you have to lose?

Make an ass out of yourself. Let loose. Dance like a fool. Be “that guy or girl” who screams “THIS IS MY SONG” at the bar. It’s best to do this at a place you don’t plan on frequenting anytime soon and make sure if you decide to use alcohol as an excuse to have a designated friend to drive you home and tell you that you look marvelous even when you’re hugging the toilet.

Make a playlist. Use music to express how you feel. If you want to feel like less of a sap go for some thrasher metal. Also remember there is no shame in listening to Toni Braxton and wanting your heart to be unbroken. If your ex is a complete tool, might I suggest some Lily Allen. Also, if they are a tool it makes getting over them a lot easier!

Remember why you are dateable in the first place. Tell yourself it will be ok. Or if you are still in sappy mode, get a pep talk from one of your friends. Listen to some Gloria Gaynor and know that you will survive! Get all spiffy looking and flash a really great smile at someone. Chances are you just made someone’s day by making them feel good about themselves too!  Even if you feel awful at least you look pretty fly.

In the age of social media it is pretty easy to find someone who feels like you do. Misery loves company! I know when I’m in a foul mood for whatever reason the last thing I want to hear about is how happy someone else is. So find a friend, follower, or “friend” who is also having a bad day/week/year and have a pity party. Have a few pity parties. Have several pity parties.

Do something for you. Take a mini roadtrip. Get a haircut. Splurge on that album you’ve been dying for. Go for the top shelf stuff. Even normal liquids can feel more high class out of a wine glass and if you want to feel like something super special you could even put your pinky out! After all, you deserve it!

Above all take care of yourself like Kai the Homeless Hitchhiker said: “No matter what you’ve done you deserve respect, even if you make mistakes, you’re loveable. And it doesn’t matter your looks,your skills…” and so on.  Even Honey Boo Boo’s mom found someone!

You Can’t Always Get What you Want… but if you try Sometimes…

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Life has a funny way of making that very clear to me.  Maybe Morgan Freeman said it best in Bruce Almighty when he rattled off something like “when we ask God for strength does he just hand it to us, or does he give us opportunities to be strong.”

I for one am one of those people that if something is “too easy” there has to be something wrong. As time has gone on, I realized that the “easy” times are the silver linings to a hectic thing called life and to not take them for granted.

No matter what, I am always going to have the complex of “too good to be true” but after the newness wears off and the blinding gold flakes off, nothing is perfect.

Never did I think that at 20 years old I would be engaged to be married. I also didn’t think that a month later I would be single. For a while I thought that would be the emotional death of me and for a week or so that was true. Then I got over it.

Some dream of the Hollywood romance a la “The Notebook” and Disney movies, and wait around for their literal or figurative prince charming. Are there many women out there that would really fight for love like that? If you have to fight for it was it meant to be in the first place?

Sure there were signs my relationship would not work out but I just wanted so badly to have the “happily ever after”… but that happens at the end of the story and I’m not even close to being finished with my accomplishments.

I look at it as the higher power’s way of proving to me just how strong I am and that he wasn’t my Prince Charming.

“The best part of breaking up is finding someone else you can’t get enough of.”- Liz Phair

Even though I think I don’t need anyone… deep down I want someone who laughs at my stupid jokes that I can call “mine.” In the meantime I’ll continue doing my thing and focusing on other things I think I need… like another shade of red lipstick.